So, it’s that time of year again. Does it seem sooner to any of you like it does me? That’s the fun of Easter. A different time each year. I have heard it’s because it’s tied to Passover, but it’s been ages since I’ve been to bible study so you’ll have to forgive this 60+ brain!

I have a video and article about dying Easter eggs with natural foods and spices on this site under ‘kids’ and ‘your life segments.’ Check it out. You may be surprised how easy it is and how the results can be surprising as well as beautemous!

Another reason I like this time of year is the colors of the desert start waking up. Here’s what it’s like outside right now:

It’s just the beginning. Each day the mountain turns more and more green and yellow (the yellow being the brittle bush). In about a month the palo verde and ironwood trees will add more yellow and lavender to the landscape. I know I’ve said Fall is my favorite time. And it truly is. It is finally a break from the 6+ months of intense heat, which always drags me down. Some of my Snow People probably know what I mean what with all the blizzards and such still active around there! Spring is their favorite time, for kinda the same reasons. I love the smell and sight of the blooming desert but there’s a little part of me going into a full pout knowing the 110+ temperatures of May and June and the hot, humid monsoons are just around the corner AGAIN! But with the weather we have from mid-September until the end of April gives me a lot of reasons to be grateful. No complaints here. Well, maybe just small ones.

March brings us to that time of year where I am haunting my deck looking for the sunsets trying to figure out when they will actually occur behind the highrises of downtown Phoenix, which are about 30-40 miles from us. Well, I got it last night. Since this only happens twice a year, it’s hard to be home on the exact right night. We’ve lived here for 12 years and I’ve only been able to catch it four times now. So, I am very excited I was here last night. And set the alarm for the sun setting! I call it ‘Arizona Stone Henge.’

No matter the whining I do in my head (ok, ok, out loud, too!), I do love this time of year. So whether you are celebrating Easter or Passover and just enjoying our glorious days and evenings, I wish you the best of Spring!

Right when Life seems to be putzing along it sometimes goes sideways. Last month we received the tragic news that our Laura passed away suddenly. She was the beloved wife of my cousin, Ray Rowe, and wondermous mom to their two children, Alex, 22 and Rachel, 19. It was sudden, unexpected and a sure shock to all of us.

Dealing with Life on Life’s Terms is a lesson I have been continually trying to learn. When we have lost loved ones in the past, it has never been easy. But one thing that happens every single time is that little ‘jewels’ appear during the process, what I call times of joy and bliss that come out of nowhere.  During the week I was in Poway, CA,  I witnessed these ‘jewels’ as they came day after day. My self-appointed job was being the scullery maid (that’s what I call myself when I do all the grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning up and making sure everyone has what they need) which put me in the ideal place to listen and note all the many ‘jewels’ as they occurred.

Laura was one of nine (yes, 9!) children to her parents, Jackie and Bill. I was fortunate to meet seven of her siblings and her mom, one sister having passed away 10 years ago. The house was full of love, tears and a lot of laughter. It was obvious as soon as the first set of siblings started arriving that their parents had done an incredible job with their children. During my chopping and stirring, I witnessed what it means to put aside all skeletons and gargoyles every family has (if a family says they don’t, they’re lying!) and come together to support and heal together. It was exactly what my cousin, Ray, and his children needed. I know that he and his family have not seen most of these people very much over the years, with all living miles and miles apart. But that didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered is that we all loved Laura, we all wanted to honor her and we all are going to miss her. And we all wanted to surround Ray, Alex and Rachel with love. As much as that can happen, I believe it did here.

I have to also mention that my three guys and my two beautiful daughters-in-law came over to lend their own love and support and it was greatly appreciated and unexpected. My Danny and I say to each other all the time that we aren’t sure what we did to deserve them, but it must have been something pretty grand to have them in our lives.

Those of us who were there are now home, picking up our lives where they were left. I know this is when the true test will come for Ray and the kids trying to make a new normal that is at first tolerable and later easier. Hopefully. I can only send out the wish that some of the love and caring that was given to them helps them accomplish this in any way it can. I know from personal experience it takes much more than that to get through a mourning period but if what we did gave any ease at all, then we did good.

By the way, the picture of Laura was taken by her ravishing daughter, Rachel, during their visit to our house a few years ago on Easter. It was a terrific time and we will always remember all the fun and laughter we had.

Fall. My favorite time of the year. The mornings are finally ‘ok’ and for those of us who have lived here our whole lives, we can smell it and feel it. I am ashamed to say I still sound like a newcomer every July and August. I am pretty much the first person to start whining as soon as the monsoons start and the humidity and heat are at their most intense. But. I love this time of year. The sky is amazing with all the clouds and I love hearing the storms outside our house. This year, in particular, was one that reminded me of my youth with the storms lasting for days and the dark clouds low and close to us. And the sunsets. Wow. Here is a picture I took from our deck where you can see one of those storms marching across the valley at sunset:

Fall brings us to a time of year where we have an Arizona Stone Henge moment (my name for it). From our deck, you can see the sun set behind the downtown Phoenix sky scrapers twice a year in March and September, similar to when the sun rises behind Stone Henge in England. Very cool. In the eleven years we’ve lived here, I’ve only been able to catch it three times; many times the day before or the day after. Very frustrating. This year was the 3rd time and I captured a pretty good picture of it:

Fall is football season; a big thing in our family. Our sons have had season tickets to the Cardinal games for 15 years. If you do the math, you’ll realize that they and their friends were scraping together the money every year, including those starving-student college days. We started getting them a bit later than that, mostly to give us something to share with them after they became adults and had lives of their own. We relish those tailgate moments and celebrating with them after big wins and crying over those tragic endings. The moments over the years with them and their friends (most of whom we’ve known since they were 5-years-old) have been numerous in number but singular in the bliss it brings us. The recent game against the Patriots was especially fun since our guys and a few of their friends did a road trip to Boston. What a game to attend, right? Here’s the moment captured at the end of the big win and tell me if you recognize the joy:

Yeah. That says it all, doesn’t it? The experience of going to Boston for the first time, combined with a momentous win, created memories they’ll be hashing over for years to come.

So, there are many reasons to be grateful this time of year. The heat is still here but it’s a ‘dry heat’. The mornings and evenings are stunning and beg you to eat outside. The light on the desert isn’t bleached out like it was at the height of summer and the shadows give it so much character. And I am past my Monsoon Mopes so Danny gets meals again and doesn’t have to stop on his way home from work to pick something up. It’s good for everybody in our house!

For the second time in my life, I have the pleasure of saying, ‘My son’s wife.’ I was so excited when it was ‘My son’s fiance’ a few months ago but it doesn’t compare to being able to say ‘wife’ instead. It is a truly surreal event when your child is married. I found myself hyper-excited during the months preceding the wedding, but once The Day arrived, I found myself curiously calm and just plain happy. I imagined myself in manic-mode, running around and yelling and laughing. Well, I laughed a lot but no manic behavior. Having a destination wedding, especially when you’re at the venue a few days ahead, allows you to settle in, relax, and take a moment to chat with everyone so that once The Day comes it’s almost Just Another Day. Almost.

It was Nathan’s wedding day. I found myself reflecting back to Adam and Nanabah’s  over 12 years ago as both days were full of laughs and love and great happiness over whom our men had chosen to be their lifemates. Remembering how much I love my relationship with Daughter-in-law Number One, Sweet Nanabah, gives me much anticipated joy at the thought of the same relationship with Daughter-in-law Number Two, Lovely Lindsey. How I’ve ended up with two such beautiful, bright, loving women in my life, I won’t ever know, but I will never lose sight of the fact that I have much to be grateful for.

View from our room.

The wedding destination was the Playacar Palace located in Playa del Carmen, 30 miles south of Cancun. The resort was beautiful and the people there friendly and determined to make our stay the best possible. The perfect venue for a wedding. Except for the rain. It was the beginning of the rainy (aka: Hurricane Season!) season on the Yucatan Peninsula and there were days of rain and days of sunshine. It so happened the wedding was on a rainy day. Nathan tried his hardest to make the Beach Wedding happen (other than her dress, a beach wedding and her friends and family being there, Lindsey had little concern over any other details–NOT a bridezilla, for sure!), but it wasn’t meant to be. It was an official Mexican wedding officiated by a Mexican judge, who was kind enough to do it in English, so a translator wasn’t necessary. Being that the wedding ended up in the Luna Lounge (the small bar area for dancing), it made a more casual and friendly atmosphere, with laughs and various comments made by the wedding guests. And, yes, I took pictures during the ceremony. I know! I know! I should have been focused on the vows, etc., but those who know me are probably not too surprised since my camera has a tendency to be an extension of my arm! As it happens, since I am such a freak about all that, I got some wondermous shots.

The ring ceremony

Mexican marriage licenses require the bride and groom’s thumbprints and taking a picture of the inked thumbs is traditional. Fun, right?

It is now a couple weeks later and the new Mr. and Mrs. Kline returned from their honeymoon a couple days ago. We haven’t seen them yet since I am sure it has been a huge culture shock coming home after being gone for so long and having to jump back into work. Hopefully, we will see them soon. We are both looking forward to hearing about their travels and getting used to the idea of our having a new member of the family.

It won’t take a lot of effort, trust me!

I am in the middle of getting ready for our Number One’s wedding in Mexico and I can’t help but remember all three of my guys when they were younger. I was telling Erik (#3) just the other day that I have decided that their childhood was one lifetime and their adult years are a completely different lifetime. I think I feel this way because my roles in both are completely different. Childhood requires working hard at keeping your children fed, clothed and safe. Along with teaching them morals, values and all-around being a good citizen. Now my job is to Shut Up. Neither jobs are easy, trust me! And I am not always successful at the shutting up part (just ask the guys!). I love seeing my guys as adults, and Nathan getting married to his Lovely Lindsey is such an exciting, fun time for us. Danny has even stopped complaining about the cost and concerns for safety! Yay.

The picture I’ve posted is my favorite. Look at those sweet faces. Our pride in all three of them is limitless. It was that way then, and it’s that way now.

So there is one thing that doesn’t feel like two lifetimes. That is the same, no matter how many lifetimes we go through with them.

Every once in awhile, something happens to get my attention away from what I call Life. Life is when we are running here and there with a million thoughts running through our heads and there never seems to be enough time in the day. Two mornings ago, I was walking (ok, running) through the front of our house when I happen to glance out the window, and there was our residential bobcat. She and her two babies (almost a year old now; my, how time flies) have been a part of our neighborhood for quite awhile, and we all enjoy seeing one or all of them as much as possible. The reason I was so happy to see her was I hadn’t noticed them around for 2-3 months and have been wondering how they were doing. What with the drought and such, you never know how it affects our desert critters. The minute I saw her, I backed away slowly (we have floor to ceiling doors and windows at the front of our home and I was afraid of startling her) and grabbed my camera. The battery was, of course!, gone so I frantically found my backup, hoping the whole time that the bobcat would take her time getting a drink. And she did. I got some terrific pictures of her and just sat there for a few minutes, enjoying her natural beauty. And it reminded me that I needed to do this more often: Stop and sit and just be silent and enjoy that which is around me. I used to do that a lot. Not so much lately and now I am going to. It is the best booster of moods I have ever found. Thank you, Ms Bobcat!

41 years. Yes, that’s right. I know it’s a shock to most of you. But my boyfriend and I have been married for 41 years as of yesterday. I know! How can anyone so young be married for that long???? *grin

This past year has been especially fun, exciting and yes, interesting. Our oldest son, Nathan, asked his Lovely Lindsey to marry him and in two short weeks, we will all be in Cancun for the wedding. Along with that excitement, we have also had to Live Life on Life’s Terms. This is when we are challenged to not only take the love and excitement of all the good we receive from the Universe with gratitude and humbleness, but to also take what can be considered adverse occurances and turn them into opportunities. If there is one thing we have learned as a couple, it is to try very hard not to focus on what the problem is, but to focus on what we can do to solve it. As a result, it gives us a perspective during our trying times of knowing, deep in our hearts, that this, too, shall pass and a ton of good is going to come from it. And, so far, this as proven to be true every single time.

On this anniversary, we spent our day in constant gratitude for what we have. We have each other, our family and our friends. And as soon as we feel we are overwhelmed with all that, we have to remind ourselves that there is no such thing as a limit on abundance. Or a limit on miracles. And so the strongest prayer in existence is said: Thank You.

Now, doesn’t that look like a room that is clean and organized? Yes, it is. Both clean AND organized. What you don’t know is that it has taken me 8 FREAKIN’ months to create that slice of heaven by actually cleaning and organizing. My ignoring it created the biggest storage shed in Kingdom Come and was waking me up at night, starting with a whisper and, lately, with all-out shouting, ‘Get in here NOW!!!’

*sigh

So, in a week when I am supposed to get ready for an out-of-town trip and putting on a bridal shower for my lovely Lindsey, I, of course, decided to clean the room. And jeez am I glad I did! I have always believed that a serene environment creates a serene spirit. Why I forgot that I’m not sure. What I AM sure about is that since I cleaned it, my creative juices have started flowing again. I was able to un-clutter my brain and make good decisions on what to take on our trip and, better yet, make decisions for Lindsey’s shower. I know that sounds extreme, but, truly, I was having major mental blocks on all that. And as soon as I did have it all clean and sparkly, I was soooo happy.

Let’s all hope I learned something and that this is the last time I do anything to sabotage my serenity.

But, since I AM the Queen of Procrastination, there’s a good chance of it occurring again. Maybe an abdication is in order.

hmmmmm

(my sweet nanabah, me me me and lovely lindsey)

One of the joys of having all guys is that you get to welcome daughters-in-law into the family. My Adam and his sweet Nanabah have been married for 12 years (gasp!) and over those years I have enjoyed my evolving relationship with Nanabah. I cannot imagine anyone better as a wife to Adam and a mom to my three Lovely Ladies. Now I am looking forward to experiencing my time with Lindsey, Nathan’s fiance. It is very exciting.

What I have always tried to do is be as good of a mother-in-law as possible. I have come to the conclusion there are three categories for this position: 1. mother-in-law: The mother who cares for her daugher-in-law but doesn’t put a lot of effort into being any closer. 2. mom-in-law: The mother who becomes so enamored with her daughter-in-law, she has to remind herself there’s an ‘in-law’ attached to ‘daughter.’ Then there is 3. monster-in-law: The mother who cannot keep herself from intruding and voicing her ideals and opinions to her son and/or daughter-in-law and is always frustrated because they don’t listen, don’t seem to care, and don’t appreciate her lauded advice. Then that frustration takes the three of them to a place none of us want to visit. And at times that is A Place of No Return (shudder).

I work diligently towards being a mom-in-law and, hopefully, am succeeding. I must be. Nanabah still talks to me and even giggles at some of my silliness. I take that as it being ‘ok.’ I have to keep reminding myself that evolving as a mom-in-law never ends. It’s a 24/7 job without any vacation days.

Knowing this, I listen and read whatever I can to help me stay on this course. Just recently I saw a wonderful video with Ann Lamott, an author of fiction and memoirs. Her most recent book is ‘A Journal of My Son’s First Son’, which writes of her first year as a grandmother to her grandson. I have this on order but am looking forward to reading it as she seems to have the same take on being a mom-in-law as I do and it’s with a lot of self-deprecation and humor. When asked by friends what is a good way to go forward with a grown son or daughter, I have two words for them: Shut Up. Now Ms. Lamott has supplied me with my new favorite piece of advice. It’s:  W.A.I.T.  which translates into ‘Why Am I Talking?’

Hysterical. And so, so wise.

If we were to use this in most all of our relationships, not just those with our grown children and their partners, wouldn’t it go much better? I know it would with me. I am always the first one with an opinion which is stated forcefully and with great zealousness, and without any regard to how strident I’m being. I need to calm myself down and be satisfied with having a strong opinion and then remember: W.A.I.T.

Here he goes! This is my Danny on his first gliding flight. His wondermous staff gave it to him for Christmas this last year and yesterday was the first opportunity to make it happen. He was a little ambivalent beforehand, but ended up enjoying it quite a bit! I have to admit to being jealous. I know! Not a good trait for a woman of a certain age. You’d think I could be more mature. I have always been a little (ok, a lot) of an adrenalin junky and when he took off, I couldn’t help imagining myself in his place yelling, ‘Waaaa-hooooo!’

up, up and away!

i’m not jealous. i’m not jealous. i’m not jealous.

So those of you who are wondering what to give me for my birthday, this (or sky-diving; I’m not picky) would be GREATLY appreciated.

And see how clever I was making Danny’s present All About Me Me Me??

I know. Shameless.

*grin